Biochem and Engineering
by clarawithfitzsimmonsin221b
Summary: Experience the emotional effects on Fitzsimmons of Simmon's choice to jump and save the team


Jemma's eyes snapped open. Unsure of what had jerked her from slumber she paused and took a breath. _What was different?_ There was a soft gray light filtering through her little window, creating a spotlight on the prism hanging over her head. The little glass trinket was shaking, throwing crystalized light patterns over the walls. _That must be it_, Jemma thought, _but the normal vibration of the Bus doesn't cause that so what….oh God! _Jemma shoved off her blanked and through open the door to her bunk in a flurry, whirling around to whip open the door of the next compartment over.

"Fitz!" she cried, desperation coloring her accent as she realized what was happening. Her closest friend was shaking uncontrollably, rattling his whole compartment.

"Fitz!" she grabbed his hand and gave his arm a shake. _Please wake up oh God not again please wake up Leo_

"Jemma…Jemma!" Hope filled her at his words, until she saw that his eyes were still closed and the panic rose exponentially as Fitz thrashed, smacking the walls.

"Jemma! JEMMA NO!" His hands pushed against the window and the wall as though trying to break unbreakable glass. The tears pooled in Jemma's eyes when the realization dawned that that was exactly what he was trying to do. Jemma grabbed him by the shoulders, now fueled by guilt and desperation, tears falling too thickly for her to see clearly, but she shook her partner with everything in her.

"Fitz wake up! Please Fitz, its okay! I'm here; I promise I'm right here!" Fitz went rigid under her grip, the tension spreading from him to her, until he relaxed and flopped back onto his pillow. Her muscles unclenched and she collapsed across Fitz's comforter, the sudden burst of adrenalin leaving her weak. The thundering of footsteps she had been expecting came now. _I'm surprised it took them so long_. The rest of the team flew into the cabin, Ward holding the Night-Night Gun ready and fear in every single face.

"Jemma?" Of course Skye was the first one to speak.

"Jemma are you alright?" Skye's voice had grown more urgent and Jemma felt a hand on her back. Pushing herself halfway upright she turned her tear-streaked face to the rest of the team.

"It's okay," she winced at the catch in her voice, the lump in her throat growing as Skye pulled her into a hug, no questions asked. Jemma pulled away though when she felt Fitz stirring. Skye took one look at Jemma's face and turned to Coulson, May, and Ward,

"They'll be fine. You can holster the gun Ward. Let's go."

Casting no backward glances, they left Fitzsimmons alone.

"Jemma?" His voice was less anguished now, but he still spoke hesitantly, as if he wasn't certain she was there. Looking up she saw his brown eyes fill with relief at the sight of her. She sat all the way up and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close while he let tears of his own fall.

"I'm so sorry Fitz," whispered Jemma against his shoulder, "this…it's all my fault." Her voice broke on the last word and she pushed her face farther into his shoulder.

"Oh Jem, no it's not, of course it's not." He pulled her even closer breathing in her scent. _She's was here, she was fine_.

"It's nobody's fault." Fitz brushed a tear from her cheek with a shaky hand. Every night he had the nightmare. Every night he watched her walk away from him, watched his other half jump out of a plane to save all of their lives. He watched as biochem left engineering, as Fitzsimmons fell to earth. But that wasn't even the worst of it. Never, not once, could he do a thing to save her. He was trapped, caged in the lab, forced _by her_ to watch the one thing that could kill him instantly. He said,

"The only thing you're responsible for Simmons, is keeping me here. God knows where I would be without you Jemma, but I wouldn't be here. The nightmares would have driven me mad without you. But every time I wake up, you're there. I see you alive, well, and _here_. I know it's okay, I can keep on, just because you're here with me."

Jemma let out a tiny sob as tears flowed from both of them, mingling together where their faces touched. They sat together that way, each holding tight to the one thing they couldn't live without.


End file.
